Do you ever wonder why there are certain people that you just can’t seem to let go of? I know I certainly do and I know that I’ve been in a situation with a man that I was dating off and on for three years and throughout those three years we had a lot of good times and bad times but for the life of me I just couldn’t let him go, no matter how much I told myself that I should. We had met when we were eighteen years old so it was definitely young love but it was intense. The beginning of our relationship started off great but as it progressed over the years I began to realize how incompatible we really were. We wanted different things for our lives and he wasn’t as emotionally available as I would’ve liked, but even though he lacked in certain areas I couldn’t let him go and he couldn’t let me go. So my question is why is it so hard to let go of someone or something that isn’t good for you?
I have this yummy and completely amazing recipe that I tried out recently and I have to say that they came out so good and they were a big hit amongst my family and friends. These cupcakes aren’t just tasty but they are also super cute and festive. This recipe that I am posting is for pineapple upside down cupcakes, and I know what you are thinking, you’re thinking how freaking cute! I know right, I can’t even deal. So I have the ingredients and directions listed below so check them out and let me know how they came out for you!
2/3 cup white sugar
4 Tbsp pineapple juice
2/3 cup all purpose flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 cup butter (1/2 stick or 4 Tbsp)
2/3 cup brown sugar (packed)
1-can pineapple rings
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray your muffin tins with non-stick cooking spray.
In a mixing bowl, add eggs, white sugar, and pineapple juice. Beat for 2 minutes. In a separate bowl, sift together the flour, baking powder, and salt. Add to the wet ingredients and turn mixer back on for 2 minutes.
In a small sauce pan, melt the butter and add the brown sugar. Stir on low heat for one minute.
Spoon a layer of the warm brown sugar mixture into the bottom of each muffin tin, then place a pineapple ring on top. Add a cherry in the middle of each pineapple. Pour cake mixture over to fill muffin tin 3/4 of the way full. If you are using regular muffin tins, you will need to cut down the rings to fit or just use pineapple tidbits.
Bake jumbo cakes for 25 minutes. Bake regular cakes for 20 minutes. If you choose to make a large cake, bake for 22-25 minutes in a 10 inch cast iron skillet. The cake is done with a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean.
Remove from the oven. Let cool in pan for 3 minutes. Run a knife around the edge of each cake to help loosen in case it sticks a little. Place a wire cooling rack on top, and quickly flip over on top of sheet tray to catch extra drippings.
Today I want to talk about reciprocity and how it is fundamental in any relationship you have. I’ve learned over my many years of dating that if you don’t have reciprocity then your relationship will eventually fail. Now I know that some of you may be skeptical about my claims but trust me when I tell you that when you are with someone and you are the only one that is giving and communicating and showing interest in your significant other, you will eventually start to grow ill feelings toward that person. Relationships are about building and growing with each other and about you both putting forth an effort to make that foundation that your relationship sits on strong and if only one of you is doing the work it will crumble eventually. You can’t constantly pour into another person without them doing the same because eventually you will be empty while they are full. You have to love yourself enough to know when to walk away when that person is not returning the affection, attention, communication and peace that you are giving them. Do not forsake your own happiness for others because then that sets that stage for resentment to grow and trust me you do not want that in your heart and mind. I’m saying all of this because I’ve been in relationships where my significant other did not understand or give me the same energy that I was giving them and they really didn’t comprehend how important reciprocity is in a relationship; so it eventually got to the point where I didn’t have anything left to give him and I got to the point where I had to choose me instead of the man I loved because he couldn’t give me what I needed to stay in that relationship. I poured so much into him without him doing the same that it got to the point where I started to resent him and the relationship, and that’s when I ended it because if I have to constantly remind you that I am worthy of your love, time, affection, attention, etc. what’s the point of even being with you? So for those of you that are currently in this type of relationship I hope that the person you are with begins to give you all the things that you require in your relationship but if they don’t I hope that you realize that you deserve more and that you should be a priority in their life.
I have fallen in love with New Orleans, the music, food and atmosphere were just so amazing. For those of you that don’t know, I went for my 29th birthday and I’m honesty dying to go back. Between the gumbo from Oceana and the never ending party of bourbon street, I can say that I lived my best life that weekend. If any of you have never been to New Orleans please go and make sure you get the beignets and hot chocolate from Cafe du Monde because they will definitely change your life, but be aware they only take cash so make sure you have some on you. After you’re done partying all night on bourbon make sure you check out Willie’s Chicken Shack for the best fried chicken that is sure to cure any hangover. When vacationing in Nola for the first time be prepared for an adventure that consists of endless bar hopping, second line, street performers, dancing in the streets and a shower of beads being thrown from balconies. Now you can be like me and earn the beads by flashing a boob or two or you can try sweet talking your way into some, but definitely make sure that you get some. Bourbon isn’t for the faint of heart so make sure you’re ready for a wild ride but trust me it’s so worth it, so live your life to fullest lovelies and drink some daiquiris while make doing a second line.
Let me start by saying that dating in your late twenties is not fun at all, throw in doing it online and it becomes pure torture. Between weeding through all of those profiles, examining their pictures and reading the cliff notes version of their best attributes it’s starting to feel like a second job. I’ve been on Bumble online dating app for about two months after getting off of Tinder (🤦🏾♀️) and baybay let me tell you the things that some of these guys say is wild! I’ve encountered so many guys who I’ve barely spoken two words to ask me if I’m down for sex, like are you serious? And don’t even get me started on the ones with fetishes, because some of them will blow your mind. But let me get back to the guys that are in my inbox looking for sex when my profile clearly states that I’m not looking for fwb or a one night stand but clearly they think they can change my mind. Don’t get me wrong there are some really nice guys on there with a lot of potential but usually there isn’t any chemistry between us or the conversation just fades out. So now here I am trying to decide on whether I should continue online dating in hopes of meeting the right man for me, even though I’ve encountered so many duds or do I get off of this dating app and try my luck the old fashion way? It’s a tough decision but one thing I know for sure is that being single is not as fun as it was when I was 21, and now that I’m 29 I want something serious and long lasting, even if that means kissing a lot of frogs until I get my Prince.
So as I start off this 29th year I wanna talk about how important it is to live your life to the fullest. Life is short man and these days fly by so fast so it’s important to do all of the things that you enjoy and to just live your life for you. It’s so easy to put off things until tomorrow but once you create that habit it’s hard to break and before you know it years have gone by without you ever doing the things that you’ve always wanted to do. Travel the world and experience different cultures; eat their cuisine and see all the sites. This world is too big to just be stuck in your little bubble; experience life, embrace life and find your passion. I know that some of you may have other financial responsibilities that may make it a bit hard for you to do this but that’s why saving and budgeting is key. Even if you put away $5 a week you’ll eventually have enough to travel somewhere. What I’m saying is just don’t put off til tomorrow what you can do today. Be free lovelies and enjoy yourself and don’t let anyone make you feel bad about it because at the end of the day it’s your life and you’re the only that has to live it. So as I get ready to head off to New Orleans to celebrate my birthday, I’m going to go enjoy this life of mine, I hope you all do the same.
So I’m sitting here listening to 6lack and I thinks it’s time to talk about sex, and letting your freak flag fly. Today we live in a society where people are a lot more vocal with their judgment and criticism of others that may not behave the way they deem appropriate. Especially when it comes to sex and being open about what you enjoy sexually; I believe that it’s important that everyone knows what they like when it comes to sex and pleasure. Sex is not meant to be one-sided so if you have a partner who only cares about themselves and their orgasms, it’s time for you to re-evaluate the person that you are having sex with. It’s 2018 people so you should not be dealing with selfish lovers; now it’s okay if you don’t know exactly what you like when it comes to sex, this is why I’m writing this post to let you know that it’s okay to experiment and find out what you like and what you don’t like. If you’ve never masturbated then I suggest starting there because how do you expect someone else to bring you to climax when you haven’t even yet? Also I suggest watching porn to see what appeals to you and buy a toy or two while you’re at it. Now that you’ve given yourself a little self love and did a little research, tryout what you learnt with your partner to see if that is something that you’ll truly enjoy; let your inner freak out and have fun but also remember to be safe and use protection with whoever you’re sleeping with because safety first. When I say let your inner freak out I’m not saying go completely against what you are comfortable with, for instance if threesomes aren’t your thing then don’t try them and if anal isn’t your thing then leave that alone because it’s not for everyone. I’m just trying to say that sex doesn’t have to be boring because life is too short for boring sex, so find your inner seductress and let her out. Find your passion and embrace the pleasure that is meant for you. Let your partner know what you like and be confident when telling them and make sure that they eat the cookie because let’s face it, it’s amazing, but remember sex is about reciprocity so if you’re not for giving head you can’t be mad if they don’t wanna go down on you; I’m not saying that it’s right for them to do that but if you aren’t giving head in return you just gotta respect their pettiness. So be a freak baby and be proud about it.
So as you can see from the title of this post I’m going to be talking about the joys of dating in your 20s. In case you haven’t realized I’m being sarcastic because let’s face it, dating in your 20s sucks. Don’t get me wrong dating at any age can be such a task but it seems like when you reach this particular age group it becomes more of a task. You meet so many different men that always comes with their best face on in hopes of impressing so that they can ultimately hookup with you. It usually starts off so well and they always have so much potential until BAM!!! That facade that they had up falls and you see them for who they truly are. Now don’t misunderstand what I’m saying, I know that there are some really genuine and amazing men out there but from my past dating experiences, especially with this past year living on the east coast I’ve only come across some major duds and a lot of emotionally unavailable men. So now that my 29th year is a week away I started thinking when will I meet someone that is actually worth my time? On paper I have the markings of a successful and well rounded individual and I consider myself to be an attractive individual so it begs the question, why haven’t I met the right person? I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s because of the pond that I’m fishing in, I need to cast a wider net, so I’ve decided to try my hand at online dating. No I’m not talking about Tinder or Plenty of fish, I’m talking either Match.com or Eharmomy where there have professionals that will help me get out of my own way. I’m hoping that this will help me meet someone because I’m over this dating game and I’m ready to meet someone that I can spend the rest of my life with. So wish me luck!
Welcome to my Blog!
As you can guess by the title of this blog I will be talking about life and everything that comes along with it. You know the good, the bad and the sexy 😉 … Because now that I am a woman that’s knocking on the door of thirty I’ve come to realize how easy it is for life to pass you by without even meaning for it to. So I’ve decided to start this blog as a way to remind myself and all of you that life is so much more fun with a little love, sex and fun in between.
The most important thing is to enjoy your life, to be happy. It’s all that matters. — Audrey Hepburn
Hi, It’s Alicia!
I’m a California girl in her twenties sharing my adventures as I navigate this east coast lifestyle. This blog is about dating, sex and all the messiness in between as I journey through this thing called life.