Reciprocity

Hey lovelies!!

Today I want to talk about reciprocity and how it is fundamental in any relationship you have. I’ve learned over my many years of dating that if you don’t have reciprocity then your relationship will eventually fail. Now I know that some of you may be skeptical about my claims but trust me when I tell you that when you are with someone and you are the only one that is giving and communicating and showing interest in your significant other, you will eventually start to grow ill feelings toward that person. Relationships are about building and growing with each other and about you both putting forth an effort to make that foundation that your relationship sits on strong and if only one of you is doing the work it will crumble eventually. You can’t constantly pour into another person without them doing the same because eventually you will be empty while they are full. You have to love yourself enough to know when to walk away when that person is not returning the affection, attention, communication and peace that you are giving them. Do not forsake your own happiness for others because then that sets that stage for resentment to grow and trust me you do not want that in your heart and mind. I’m saying all of this because I’ve been in relationships where my significant other did not understand or give me the same energy that I was giving them and they really didn’t comprehend how important reciprocity is in a relationship; so it eventually got to the point where I didn’t have anything left to give him and I got to the point where I had to choose me instead of the man I loved because he couldn’t give me what I needed to stay in that relationship. I poured so much into him without him doing the same that it got to the point where I started to resent him and the relationship, and that’s when I ended it because if I have to constantly remind you that I am worthy of your love, time, affection, attention, etc. what’s the point of even being with you? So for those of you that are currently in this type of relationship I hope that the person you are with begins to give you all the things that you require in your relationship but if they don’t I hope that you realize that you deserve more and that you should be a priority in their life.

Xoxo

Alicia

Online dating

Hey lovelies!

Let me start by saying that dating in your late twenties is not fun at all, throw in doing it online and it becomes pure torture. Between weeding through all of those profiles, examining their pictures and reading the cliff notes version of their best attributes it’s starting to feel like a second job. I’ve been on Bumble online dating app for about two months after getting off of Tinder (🤦🏾‍♀️) and baybay let me tell you the things that some of these guys say is wild! I’ve encountered so many guys who I’ve barely spoken two words to ask me if I’m down for sex, like are you serious? And don’t even get me started on the ones with fetishes, because some of them will blow your mind. But let me get back to the guys that are in my inbox looking for sex when my profile clearly states that I’m not looking for fwb or a one night stand but clearly they think they can change my mind. Don’t get me wrong there are some really nice guys on there with a lot of potential but usually there isn’t any chemistry between us or the conversation just fades out. So now here I am trying to decide on whether I should continue online dating in hopes of meeting the right man for me, even though I’ve encountered so many duds or do I get off of this dating app and try my luck the old fashion way? It’s a tough decision but one thing I know for sure is that being single is not as fun as it was when I was 21, and now that I’m 29 I want something serious and long lasting, even if that means kissing a lot of frogs until I get my Prince.

Xoxo

Alicia

Dating in your 20s

Hey lovelies!

So as you can see from the title of this post I’m going to be talking about the joys of dating in your 20s. In case you haven’t realized I’m being sarcastic because let’s face it, dating in your 20s sucks. Don’t get me wrong dating at any age can be such a task but it seems like when you reach this particular age group it becomes more of a task. You meet so many different men that always comes with their best face on in hopes of impressing so that they can ultimately hookup with you. It usually starts off so well and they always have so much potential until BAM!!! That facade that they had up falls and you see them for who they truly are. Now don’t misunderstand what I’m saying, I know that there are some really genuine and amazing men out there but from my past dating experiences, especially with this past year living on the east coast I’ve only come across some major duds and a lot of emotionally unavailable men. So now that my 29th year is a week away I started thinking when will I meet someone that is actually worth my time? On paper I have the markings of a successful and well rounded individual and I consider myself to be an attractive individual so it begs the question, why haven’t I met the right person? I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s because of the pond that I’m fishing in, I need to cast a wider net, so I’ve decided to try my hand at online dating. No I’m not talking about Tinder or Plenty of fish, I’m talking either Match.com or Eharmomy where there have professionals that will help me get out of my own way. I’m hoping that this will help me meet someone because I’m over this dating game and I’m ready to meet someone that I can spend the rest of my life with. So wish me luck!

Xo…

Alicia