How to find a Glucose guardian (Sugar Daddy)

Hey Lovelies!!

It’s hard out here and adulting is a struggle, so recently I talked to my sister and I mentioned how I’m two seconds away from finding me a Glucose guardian. Now I know that having a sugar daddy is slightly frowned upon because when most people hear sugar daddy they think of young women getting paid by older men to basically have sex and date them. I mean yes that can be the case for some but not for all, for some it’s all about companionship. Talking to my sister I decided to do a bit of research into how one goes about finding a sugar daddy, with that I found a few interesting sites that I signed up for so that I could see what they were all about. Now please don’t look at me with those judgmental eyes I did eventually delete every profile that I created. I wanted to do my due diligence for you lovelies just in case y’all decide to one day jump on the sugar daddy band wagon. So I joined three sites and honestly they weren’t that bad and the conversation between the men I spoke to was interesting and a huge contrast from the men in my age group. Not once while I was one either of the three sites was I propositioned for sex, which I will admit I was slightly surprised about. The first site I joined was Seeking Arrangement which is free for college students. This particular site seemed pretty high class to the other ones that I came across and the sugar daddies are verified and it is apparently the number one dating site for those looking for sugar babies and sugar daddies. The second site I signed up for is for all my ladies with that wanderlust spirit; it’s called Miss Travel and as the name suggests it’s geared towards people who are looking for sugar daddies to travel the world with or who want to travel on their own and have someone else finance their trip. The last website I joined had this amazing feature called a gift wishlist where you can pick different items that range in price and put them on your wishlist for your potential sugar daddy to purchase for you; that website is Sugar Daddy Meet … now I am not trying to force this lifestyle on anyone but I did feel the need to speak on it because I have encountered so many women who have mentioned becoming a sugar baby. I do not want any of those women to go into this type of relationship blindly, I strongly suggest that those of you who are interested in a sugar daddy do your research before jumping into a relationship because it’s not for everyone. I also suggest that you set boundaries and let someone know what you are doing because there are some crazy people in this world. The key is to be smart and safe when entering into this sort of arrangement and to never allow them to degrade you. Know what you will and will not accept and do not settle for anything less. I hope that this post has helped a few of you that were on the fence about getting a glucose guardian. Stay safe and be fierce.

Xoxo

Alicia 💋

Story Time: Finding out my ex was racist

Hey Lovelies!!

So I have a story for you all today, which you can probably tell from the title. So let’s just get started. A few years ago I was dating this guy who happened to be white, now for those of you who don’t know I don’t discriminate, I date any man that appeals to me regardless of their race. So anyway this man that I’ll be calling “M” pursued me hard, and if I’m being honest he basically forced me to be in a relationship with him. You see I wanted to take things slow so that we could really get to know one another but he was not feeling that so we ended up dating, that was a mistake on my part. Well when the relationship started I didn’t realize that he was harboring racist views and that he was also pretty sexist. He hid it very well, but as you well know you can only hide your true self but for so long. So one particular day I’m over at his apartment having a movie day with his roommate when he comes in from the gym and starts a rant against black women 👀 again I remind you that I am a black woman, a proud black woman so I had to pause like “is he really about to talk down on black women while I’m sitting right here?” Y’all he really tried it that day. So he starts off by saying how black women are less intelligent and don’t pursue a higher education because we have kids by different men, 👀 and how we don’t know how to support ourselves and live off government assistance and how we are ghetto and just basically trash and therefore lacking compared to other nationalities. At this point I’m pissed, like “bitch who the fuck do you think you are?” I mean I am boiling inside but on the outside I’m cooler than a cucumber. I’m like nah you’re not about to bash black women in front of me, not today, not ever. So I proceed to hit him with the facts and then read him for filth. I know so many educated and financially independent black, one of which is myself. I several family members that are successful business owners, so for him to throw out that narrow minded, bigoted view just blew me. My thing is how dare you say that you want to be with me then turn around bash me and my people? Nah boo that’s not happening over here.

Us black girls are magic and not everyone can handle us, so don’t throw your racist world view on us because you have been found lacking. Seriously y’all I had to shut it his ass down and then I dumped him. I don’t need any man in my life that deals in hate and bigotry. I am proud of who I am and I won’t ever let anyone try and belittle me or my people.

Xoxo

Alicia

Reciprocity

Hey lovelies!!

Today I want to talk about reciprocity and how it is fundamental in any relationship you have. I’ve learned over my many years of dating that if you don’t have reciprocity then your relationship will eventually fail. Now I know that some of you may be skeptical about my claims but trust me when I tell you that when you are with someone and you are the only one that is giving and communicating and showing interest in your significant other, you will eventually start to grow ill feelings toward that person. Relationships are about building and growing with each other and about you both putting forth an effort to make that foundation that your relationship sits on strong and if only one of you is doing the work it will crumble eventually. You can’t constantly pour into another person without them doing the same because eventually you will be empty while they are full. You have to love yourself enough to know when to walk away when that person is not returning the affection, attention, communication and peace that you are giving them. Do not forsake your own happiness for others because then that sets that stage for resentment to grow and trust me you do not want that in your heart and mind. I’m saying all of this because I’ve been in relationships where my significant other did not understand or give me the same energy that I was giving them and they really didn’t comprehend how important reciprocity is in a relationship; so it eventually got to the point where I didn’t have anything left to give him and I got to the point where I had to choose me instead of the man I loved because he couldn’t give me what I needed to stay in that relationship. I poured so much into him without him doing the same that it got to the point where I started to resent him and the relationship, and that’s when I ended it because if I have to constantly remind you that I am worthy of your love, time, affection, attention, etc. what’s the point of even being with you? So for those of you that are currently in this type of relationship I hope that the person you are with begins to give you all the things that you require in your relationship but if they don’t I hope that you realize that you deserve more and that you should be a priority in their life.

Xoxo

Alicia

Online dating

Hey lovelies!

Let me start by saying that dating in your late twenties is not fun at all, throw in doing it online and it becomes pure torture. Between weeding through all of those profiles, examining their pictures and reading the cliff notes version of their best attributes it’s starting to feel like a second job. I’ve been on Bumble online dating app for about two months after getting off of Tinder (🤦🏾‍♀️) and baybay let me tell you the things that some of these guys say is wild! I’ve encountered so many guys who I’ve barely spoken two words to ask me if I’m down for sex, like are you serious? And don’t even get me started on the ones with fetishes, because some of them will blow your mind. But let me get back to the guys that are in my inbox looking for sex when my profile clearly states that I’m not looking for fwb or a one night stand but clearly they think they can change my mind. Don’t get me wrong there are some really nice guys on there with a lot of potential but usually there isn’t any chemistry between us or the conversation just fades out. So now here I am trying to decide on whether I should continue online dating in hopes of meeting the right man for me, even though I’ve encountered so many duds or do I get off of this dating app and try my luck the old fashion way? It’s a tough decision but one thing I know for sure is that being single is not as fun as it was when I was 21, and now that I’m 29 I want something serious and long lasting, even if that means kissing a lot of frogs until I get my Prince.

Xoxo

Alicia

Dating in your 20s

Hey lovelies!

So as you can see from the title of this post I’m going to be talking about the joys of dating in your 20s. In case you haven’t realized I’m being sarcastic because let’s face it, dating in your 20s sucks. Don’t get me wrong dating at any age can be such a task but it seems like when you reach this particular age group it becomes more of a task. You meet so many different men that always comes with their best face on in hopes of impressing so that they can ultimately hookup with you. It usually starts off so well and they always have so much potential until BAM!!! That facade that they had up falls and you see them for who they truly are. Now don’t misunderstand what I’m saying, I know that there are some really genuine and amazing men out there but from my past dating experiences, especially with this past year living on the east coast I’ve only come across some major duds and a lot of emotionally unavailable men. So now that my 29th year is a week away I started thinking when will I meet someone that is actually worth my time? On paper I have the markings of a successful and well rounded individual and I consider myself to be an attractive individual so it begs the question, why haven’t I met the right person? I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s because of the pond that I’m fishing in, I need to cast a wider net, so I’ve decided to try my hand at online dating. No I’m not talking about Tinder or Plenty of fish, I’m talking either Match.com or Eharmomy where there have professionals that will help me get out of my own way. I’m hoping that this will help me meet someone because I’m over this dating game and I’m ready to meet someone that I can spend the rest of my life with. So wish me luck!

Xo…

Alicia